How do you sell anything to anyone?

You may not realize it, but the most critical moments in your career are sales. Whether you're selling a product or service to a customer, an idea or plan to your management or investors, or yourself to an employer, your ability to sell will play an important role in your success.

Unfortunately, most people aren't born with the sales gene. Not only that, sales has a bad reputation. I remember telling my parents that I was planning to transition to sales after a decade in engineering management. At first, there was absolute silence on the phone. Then my father said, "You mean a car salesman?"

Looking back, it turned out to be the best job of my entire career. Sales taught me how to connect with others, engage them with an idea, negotiate and close. I've used all this throughout my career as a senior executive and in management consulting. You can also.

There are four fundamental concepts you need to understand to sell anything to anyone. Learn them, practice them and, above all, make them exclusively yours to determine how best to integrate them into your DNA, your own situation and the goals you wish to achieve. Are you hooked? Okay. That was the idea.

Know your customer, your stakeholders, your audience, who you're selling to. Know your roles, responsibilities and objectives. Understand as much as you can about what's in it for them. Know your competitors and any possible objections or obstacles you might encounter.

Just as important: know what you're trying to sell. Know it's cold. Whether it's an idea, a product, a plan, whatever, get to know it inside and out. And, without a doubt, get to know it better than anyone else, especially those it sells to.

There's nothing worse than being hit by a client, your boss or a VC because you didn't do your homework and wasted your time. Been there. Take it from me; This really sucks. And you can say good-bye to that prospect, sometimes forever.

Yes, I know you've done your homework and now you know it all. You're so prepared and passionate that you chew a little to get it out. Don't do it, that's why. If you do, you might feel bad. Annoying. Like it's you. It's not about you. It's about the people in front of you at the table. It's about your needs and your goals.

Then ask. Ask how you can help them. Ask what their goals are. Ask what their concerns are. Then listen. Ask important questions and listen some more. Keep listening until you have a pretty clear understanding of the whole picture.

No, don't waste them. Sometimes you listen a little, give a little and come and go for meetings. You want to be flexible. You want to be flexible and you don't want to be aggressive. Just see if you can find a way to get them to talk first. Information is power.

Listen, too, to what really matters to them. They may say a lot, but if you really listen, you'll discern what's really there for them, what motivates them and what obstacles they have to overcome. It's like cracking a nut. Raw strength and all you have are little pieces of nut and shell. But if it finds the right place and does it the right way, it opens cleanly. It's a beautiful thing. It's the same in sales.

Make a real connection.

If you have the best product or idea in the world, that's great, I'm sure you'll kill there. If not, know this: every business transaction involves a real bond between individuals. It's not always a deep relationship, but it's a relationship nonetheless.

To connect with people, you need to explain things in a way that resonates with them. If you've done your homework, asked the right questions and listened carefully, you should know what they're looking for and how to overcome their concerns and meet their needs.

The best way to do this is to do two things: truly connect with the person, and communicate using anecdotes and analogies that resonate with them. This is because people are not only motivated by logic and information, but also by emotional and primal needs.

The people I like to hear ideas, features and performances. They need Learn more about the benefits and what's in it for them. But when it's all said and done and you're on your own to make a decision, it's an emotional connection to the stories and people you'll remember. And that's what will motivate them to do it.

Know which side you're on.

It's a difficult concept for people to understand, but it's essential, so listen carefully. You may be sitting in front of someone, physically opposed to them, but in reality, you're on the same side. The sooner you get into that frame of mind, the sooner you'll get offers.

You see, most people have bad sales. In a way, you're really working for the customer or the person you're selling to. That's because their job is to understand and meet your needs. To help them achieve their goals. That's your job. That means you're working for them.

And you know what? Your customers need to know. That you're there to help them achieve their goals. That you're partners. That you're willing to move mountains for them. And often, that's what you have to do to reach an agreement.

This is true even in large companies. The sales organization is the customer's advocate. At management meetings, the sales manager represents the customer. Yes, of course, a VP of Sales works for your company, but if she isn't the internal champion for meeting customer needs, I guarantee you those needs won't be met.